Back To Uni: The Essentials.

A-level results are just around the corner, which means that parents across the country will soon have to face the dreaded moment when their little darlings head off to university.

For new students, it is a chance to flee the coop. You don’t want to arrive with a big picture of your mum and dad. But it is still important to make your room homely. You’ll spend most of your days dropping in on others, and being dropped in on yourself. Your room becomes an extension of you.

So fear not, I'm here to walk you through it, you'll be the Stiffler or the Regina George of your University in no time.

Whether you share halls or just prefer to study together with friends, it's a great idea to create as much space as possible. Don't shove all your stuff in a wardrobe! When you were younger and your parents asked you to tidy your room, did you ever just cram as much stuff as you could under your bed? Made the place look bigger and tidier right?

Then try an ottoman bed, just lift it up and place whatever you fancy in there! It's well out of the way and creates so much space for all of your new 'not-as-cool-as-you' friends.

University may be a time for partying and rest quite often, however much of your time is spent revising, planning, working, gaming, writing and reading; all reasons why we think you'll need one of our famous ergonomic chairs! Specifically designed to strengthen your back and help you sit in the correct position for you, we figured that since you'll spend much of your time seated, you'd want to be comfortable while you do so!

So we figured that since you have a chair, you're gonna need a desk of some description, lest you end up trying to write on your lap like Will Smith in Men In Black. We have so many desks to offer it is actually crazy, if you're a desk fanatic then this would be your idea of heaven! Since I'm going to safely assume you're not a desk fanatic, you'll still have an easy time finding a desk to work at within our range. Don't even think of it as a desk, think of it as the station at which your future is made. Now in the delicate words of Rhianna, 'work work work work work work'.

REMEMBER: Don't be like Will. Buy a desk.

I think that's everything you need! Ooh before I forget, here are some jokes to tell potential friends whilst at University, I say potential because some of them may fall flatter than Mariah Carey's current vocal chords.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says "Get that gum out of your mouth", where as the train says "Chew, Chew, Chew ".

Parallel lines have so much in common... it's a shame they'll never meet.

Dear Math, please stop asking us to find your x. She's not coming back. I don't know y either.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry and I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I really draw the line!

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.

Blog by Liam Ryan

- Hogwarts Graduate.